From Yesterday
by Natersby
Summary: Shikamaru faces some tough revelations after the failure of his first Chunin mission, with the help of Temari and his fathers advice. Please review!


**Dislaimer** I didn't create Naruto, the legend that is Masashi Kishimoto did. Owned by Shonen Jump, Manga and probably a bunch of other people!

**A/N **This is set the day after TV episode 135 or manga chapter 235 (Shikamaru's first Chunin mission.)

**From Yesterday**

Nara Shikamaru adjusted the collar of his Chunin uniform and scratched at his neck. The starchy new fabric itched in the suns heat. It was a drag to wear it in; his casual clothes were much more comfortable. Though he had to admit the stitched in pockets were useful for his ninja tools. In the higher pockets, he stored explosive tags and flash bombs, his personal favourites. He used the lower left and right pockets for an assortment of shuriken and kunai knives.

Today, however, the pockets held only a pack of gum and a string, which he weaved around his fingers into intricate patterns when he got bored, though he had found no use for it this morning. It would be difficult to tie around his broken finger, anyway.

He had to wear his uniform in case a mission came up- but they would have to find him first.

He laced his fingers behind his head and lay down on the slatted roof, careful to avoid putting weight on the splint. The tiles had absorbed the sun's heat and warmed his back. This was his favourite spot in all of Konoha; the roof was one of the highest in the village. It felt like all he had to do was stretch out his arm and he could catch a cloud in his palm like a cotton ball, and stretch it across the sky in any shape he pleased. Though he wouldn't even if he could; he did not want to disrupt anything from its natural course.

Just as he had been disrupted from his.

It was the kind of day that a geographer would call a two-eighths cloud cover. The white and grey puffs drifted through the blue field of his vision, each unique in its own way, yet content drifting through existence with the crowd. None of them tried to draw attention to themselves by hurling out thunder bolts, or snow, or hail and rain. The clouds were as unlike the boys he had grown up with as could be, who for the most part would use any trick in their arsenal to stand out and show what great shinobi they would one day be. He was as different to them as the clouds he watched were to a squall.

He sat up and scanned the streets below, where the usual every day chaos reigned. The girl from the rahmen shop had dropped a cooking pot of noodles, which now snaked through the dirt. Even from this distance, Shikamaru could see the owner remonstrating wildly as though she had dropped a bag of precious gems into a mineshaft. Elsewhere, people hurried to and fro, all seeming to have some urgent matter they must rush to attend to.

_Why do they all weigh themselves down so much?_ Shikamaru wondered.

It was a contrast laid out before him. Tranquillity and peace above, and the general hustle and bustle below. Where he belonged in peace, his comrades belonged in the frustrating flow of the town. Of course, that was not to say his fondness for them was any less, despite how different his personal dreams and philosophies were from theirs.

He sighed. Here he was on the rooftop, trapped between what he wanted and what he had been presented with. He could usually kick back and watch the sky on a perfect day like this from dawn to dusk with thoughts unfettered by the village below. Even the small act of glancing down at the commotion was unlike him.

But this was not a normal day. His eye caught on the sloping roof of the hospital, the bright red sign like a beacon to draw his eye. Chouji, Neji, Kiba, Akamaru and Naruto would not be out enjoying the sun today.

He made a mental note to take a fruit basket in for Chouji later; he had a feeling they would allow him to have it this time. Last time his best friend was admitted for indigestion, and this time for extreme weight loss. Indulgence and sacrifice; Shikamaru wished he had not gone so far.

_But at least they're all alive. They're all going to be alright._

From yesterday, the words of his father echoed in his mind.

_"Even if you quit being a shinobi, missions will still occur. Someone will have to carry them out. Your companions will just go out with a new leader. So then, maybe your companions will die…"_

Shikamaru stretched his arms in the air, and trudged to the side of the roof. At the edge he drew chakra to his feet and hopped between two close by walls into a shadowy alleyway.

_"…But if you're their leader, your companions may not reach that end. If you look at this as an experience and learn from it, maybe you can carry out your missions with less problems…"_

He jammed his hands into his pockets and headed towards the academy. Even with no mission he was not completely freed of responsibility.

After the leaf and sand ninja returned together from the failed mission to retrieve Sasuke, Temari and her team had offered to stay for a few days and teach the junior classes. However, Shikamaru found their allocated classrooms empty of both students and teachers, so he made his way along the dirt path outside and through the shaded woodland. He sauntered in to the centre of the training grounds and found the three sand ninja scattered around it with their various charges. He crossed his arms and leaned against a stump to observe.

The sun glinted blindingly on the memorial stone. Temari sat cross-legged on the patchy grass next to it, her blonde hair tied back in messy bunches. A white ferret sat beside her as she lectured her class. Nearby, a group sat around Kankuro as he made his shaggy haired puppet dance for them. Close to the surrounding woodland, Gaara stood impassively, arms crossed loosely. He had conjured an improvised sandpit from his gourd, out of which formed an impressively intricate tunnel of sand, with challenging loops and turns.

_At least his class is getting some exercise,_ Shikamaru observed bleakly. _I thought that they were staying to underline our refreshed alliance with the sand village, or maybe even because of guilt. But this is more like a playground than a training ground. I bet they're just putting off going home to work._

He shook his head and snickered._ I'd do the same thing._

A shriek brought his attention to the kids clambering through Gaara's tunnel, and he grimaced with a sudden vision of them being crushed inside it, but it was only a playful sound. Still, he would never forget the crunch of Lee's bones in Gaara's sand coffin during the preliminaries, nor would he forget his confrontation with the creepy guy in the hospital, where he had vowed to kill him.

_Are the kids really safe around this guy?_ He thought, shivering with the memory.

"It's alright," Temari said, approaching him. "There's no need to look so scared."

_Oh, man. This girl is so troublesome. Why is she talking to me?_

He noticed the ferret had risen up on its back legs in front of Temari's class. It seemed she had left it to teach in her place, and he figured that it would probably do a better job anyway.

"What's alright?" He asked.

"If you're stopping by because you don't trust us, there's no need to worry." She gestured to Gaara. "He's not going to turn the munchkins into cookie dough. He's changed. Ever since we were here before."

Indeed, the boy looked calm, though he always had, so that alone was not enough to convince Shikamaru. But no glint of the insanity that had possessed him during the Chunin exams stained his eyes, though they were still dark rimmed from lack of sleep. He watched the playing children with a certain intensity, though there was nothing murderous about it. A boy slipped and a cushion of sand appeared immediately to catch him, putting Shikamaru's mind at ease.

He remembered the battle between Gaara and Naruto. He had seen the shock waves from a distance, felt the clash of their immense chakra. He could hardly believe a great portion of it had come from the class clown who could barely even manage a shadow clone while they were in the academy. It was harder to believe he had actually won against the spooky sand ninja.

_I wonder what happened between those two? It looks like Naruto gave him some kind of inner peace, there had to be more to it than beating the guy up, _Shikamaru thought._ And what did Naruto give me? A load of responsibility and stress!_

"That's right," Shikamaru thought aloud, putting his hand to his forehead in exasperation. "It was Naruto, wasn't it?"

Temari raised a questioning brow. "Gaara being chilled out is a bad thing?"

Shikamaru barely heard her.

"Ahh! This is all his fault! That boy is so troublesome. If he hadn't pushed me into the arena that day, then I would have forfeited the match and I'd still be the lazy, carefree bum I was before."

_If he hadn't pushed me and I hadn't become Chunin, maybe someone better would have led the team. Maybe the result would have been different. No severe injuries, and Sasuke may have even come back._ He thought glumly. _Of course, however I look at it, it's _my_ fault Naruto's in hospital right now. Who am I to dish out blame?_

Temari regarded him out of the corner of her large green eyes. "You _did_ forfeit the match, remember?"

"Yeah," Shikamaru smirked, putting a false lightness into his voice. "The only person to forfeit was the only one who passed. What were the examiners thinking?"

"Kankuro forfeited too," she pointed out. "Of course, he didn't try to show off first like you did."

She gestured to the boy in question. The only thing he was showing off now were his dance skills, as he waltzed with The Crow to helpless laughter from the kids. It was more like a day at the fare than training.

_He's going to lose some serious street cred for that, _Shikamaru thought with a smirk._ Still, it would probably be a good move in battle. Make your opponents laugh to death; Naruto would lose to that for sure._

"I wouldn't want to fight Naruto," he said. He glanced at Temari out of the corner of his eye and added, "then again, I wouldn't want to fight you again, either."

"Why? Because I'm a girl?" She sneered. "Or because you wouldn't get lucky twice?"

_Because you're scarier than my mother and all of my aunt's put together! _He thought. _This chick wrecked the landscape alone more than Naruto and Gaara between them! I just hope no one can charge us for it. The Fifth would make me do ten missions a day for the rest of my life to cover it!_

"A bit both," he grumbled. "Why do I always have to fight girls anyway?"

"You must be unlucky. Boys are much easier to beat, after all," she said, with a teasing lilt to her voice. "I won our match, right? The examiners must have been cloud watching to let you pass the exam."

"Heh." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Would you believe I made them do that as part of my strategy?"

Temari only smiled in response.

He looked away, hiding his responding smile. A young girl with blonde pigtails played around Gaara. She made wide gestures with her arms, chattering to him animatedly. A fully structured sand castle rose out of the pit, a gothic construction complete with miniature gargoyles and spiky towers. It looked out of place, glittering in the midday sun.

_Inner peace or not, he's still creepy._

The girl clapped her hands excitedly and jumped up to grab Gaara's hand, apparently having taken quite a shine to him, but he did not so much as twitch from his repose.

_Still, maybe it was all meant to play out like this, _Shikamaru decided, taking in a cleansing draught of the fresh air.

"Anyway, shouldn't you be on a mission or something?" Temari asked. "I heard most of your ninja are away on missions. That's why we're helping out."

_I'll keep my opinions to myself. Wouldn't want to seem ungrateful, and I don't need a troublesome argument right now. _

"I don't think I'd be much use without my jutsu." He said instead, holding up his hand and gesturing to the splinted finger.

"You've still got your mind, though, right?" she said conversationally.

He widened his eyes and blinked. _Was that a compliment?_

"Tem-a-wiii-san! Show us the trik wiv your van agen!" a young girl with bunched up hair and goggles called from the front of a gathered crowd, all staring at them expectantly. Apparently the ferret had not been a very good teacher after all.

"Sure!" Temari grinned at her.

The girl clapped her hands together in pleasure as the class gave a general whoop of excitement.

"Well, it seems one of us is in demand!"

"Wouldn't want to disrupt the show." Shikamaru said. "But it doesn't look like they're learning much…"

"They're learning to have fun, which has got to be tough with Chunin like you in this village." She said and strolled away.

"I'm not just a coward, you know," he called after her, though immediately wondered why he had bothered. He really didn't want an argument.

_What's wrong with me today? I'm acting like a girl!_

"I know." Temari paused and looked over her shoulder at him. "You're not _just_ a coward, you're a fidgety cry baby as well."

Her warm grin took the sting out of the words, and he found he smiled back mildly despite himself.

"That was unnecessary. Troublesome woman."

Her grin only broadened and she turned away again with a light wave. "Later, slacker."

"Well, when you're right, you're right," he muttered, watching as she loosened the red sash on her back and removed her fan. He told himself he observed for the sake of his next report to the Fifth Hokage, rather than out of curiosity about what her trick was.

_A slacker. She's right, I always have been,_ he thought. _So were the others. We skived off whenever we could get away with it. Running away from class, getting told off by Iruka-Sensei…_

His childhood memories flowed through him, all the little details he knew he would never forget or ever trade for anything.

_Naruto and I fell asleep in class. Chouji would come watch the sky with me, or we'd all hang out in the empty hall, reading manga and playing games. I even summoned the energy to throw a stick for Akamaru a couple of times. It was fun. But…_

His father's words imposed themselves on his fond recollections.

_" If your companions are really important to you, before you think about running away, consider that you may become greater for the sake of your friends! That's what it means to be a real companion. You coward!"_

Temari walked over to a grassy area near the woods. She used her insanely huge fan to delicately blow up flowers from the long grass, and his doubts in himself were swept away with them. She looked far softer somehow than she had the previous day; probably because she was wrecking a flower patch rather than a forest, Shikamaru reflected.

_I don't think I would be happy hiding away with a wife and two kids while my friends risked their necks alone,_ he realized._ Maybe my dreams were never what I thought they were. I ignored the most important part of them. If they died, I'd be doing all those things alone. I guess I'm not so different from the others, after all._

Temari waved the fan gently to keep the blossoms drifting in the air. Large yellow daffodil heads floated beside bluebells, daisies and buttercups like glittering specks amongst them.

Maybe that was all that had happened to him. When the winds shifted, the clouds drifted in a new direction, just as the flowers lulled in the gust from Temari's fan. But he was still himself, regardless, just as the clouds and the flowers were.

_I want to protect them, all of them, the best I can. My friends, the people of this village, and even…_

Temari grinned at the kids around her. "Ready? Go!"

The kids dashed forward, jumping in the air to catch the dancing flashes of yellow, blue and white. When all the flowers had settled, they gathered around Temari with open palms. She surveyed their catches, and raised the arm of a young boy into the air. He grinned like he had just been announced as the Sixth Hokage. Temari laughed and tousled his hair.

_The Fifth will be thrilled with my report. 'Well, today the junior class learned the catch-daisy-jutsu.' She'll probably get all mad and scary, and I'll be the one who has to deal with it. What a drag._

Yet he was smiling as he watched them.

* * *

**A/N **I may write a short story based on Shikamaru and Temari in the future, if this gets a good enough response. Also may explore other characters points of view at this point in the series. Review and let me know of there's anyone else you'd like me to take a crack at!

By the way, the title was taken from a "30 Seconds To Mars" song, in case you were wondering. Though I suppose you probably weren't.


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